i'm not a good rapper. i am pretty much tone deaf and my sense of rhythm is non-existant. nevertheless i often like to make recordings of me rapping over random rap songs. these suck and are only here for you to maybe laugh at. or not. also, before you bitch, i know these aren't compressed as well as they could be. fact is, i don't have any mp3 encoding software. if some fine patron of the arts would like to donate their time and do it for me, it would be appreciated.

The Revolution by coolio is one of my favorite rap songs. this is me defiling it. i forgot some of the words here and there so i just made some up. don't forget that dog on the toe tag.

First, Second, and Third verses to gangsta's paradise, also by coolio. if you don't lose complete respect for me after listening to these then, like, wow. also, i just pretended the guy's name was james.

Random verse from down with the king by run dmc, who are undoubtedly the best rappers ever. oh, here's another verse from it, too! i had the flu when i recorded that one, though. it shows.

Rock Box, also by run dmc. this is probably the 'best' one.

#1, by nelly. my coup de gras, so to speak. this is absolutely revolting. i run out of breath several times, i keep no rhythm throughout the thing, and my attempt to emulate nelly's gravelly, whiny, southern drawly voice is in vain. the AH AH AH AH AH part is especially funny. here is another verse from it. these are awfully bad. you've been warned.

this all amounts to one thing: i'm white. deal.